Self- Forgiveness

When the heart is heavy and full of pain, and painful memories won't go away
When all my dreams then turn to nightmares again, and linger on all throughout the day
And when the soul becomes a rock out of fear, is it the world or me that I deceive
When all the thoughts in mind are those of despair, it then seems oneself is so hard to forgive

I've been a prisoner of my own accord, and dwelled in self pity more than I would care
Spent more years in regret than I can afford, and sometimes ponder what I have left to share
I've been a slave to perceptions of the world, I bound myself by the chains of my thoughts
I've been tormented by thoughts of those I've hurt, self forgiveness is a gift I have not

There's only so many years left in this life, to not hope for a moment of peace
There's only so many regrets one can hide, to not pray for the guilts to all cease
There's only so many tears one can retain, show a brave face like a good little lad
After that there's only only so much disdain, one can have till self forgiveness is had

I've said I hate myself for too many times, banished my soul to shame for all that I've done
I've drowned myself in the seas of all my crimes, prayed someday these demons would be gone
But now It's time to let go of all this weight, free my soul from all these burdens on me
For now's a turning point to decide my fate, so I'll forgive myself so I can be free

Copyright © 2013 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

My Resting Place

This is where I feel so safe
From all the world and all it's hate
For all I am and all I say
Here's where in peace I meditate

Here's where my dreams are spilled and shared
For all to read, for those that care
Here's where revealed are inner fears
Here's all my deep thoughts of despair

Here's where I cling to all I've lost
That's withered, died and turned to dust
Here's where I dwell in memories
Here's where I write my history

A trail of thoughts random, sequenced
In order, honest, no pretence
Here's where the bitter truth resides
Here's where I let go of my pride

Here's where my tears are verbalised
Clouded in words to mesmerise
Whoever should spare time for their eyes
To read, and not even realise

Here lies a broken shameful heart
The limbo where world's torn apart
Linger in nothingness for time
Here are my thoughts, raw, unrefined

I lay to rest the pain within
Here where I let go of my sins
That bury me in guilt and pain
Here's where I fear I shall remain

Till such a time when I am freed
Exhumed from this grave misery
Until I'm saved and given grace
Here's where I'll lie, my resting place

Copyright © 2013 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)