A friendly fellow lacks some friendships
Light-skinned living in the dark
Un-relatable, no relationships
They says I'm heartless and that hurts my heart
I dive deeper into seas of problems
There's something fishy about all these sharks
Ninety-nine problems and I can't solve 'em
Ninety-nine fragments of mind split apart
They say I'm complex, well I've torn apart men
In my thoughts which I held in rage
Mind's demons scattered across parchments
All released from this mental cage
All roads lead to where I started
Where these complicated feelings end
When these complex thoughts have departed
Maybe then, me, I'll comprehend
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Saturday, 17 November 2012
Monday, 8 October 2012
Free From Pain/You
My greatest fear was losing you
To all the things I used to do
And now I've walked the path of fear
My greatest shame, been at despair
I'm colder, stronger than I knew
I had within me through and through
My thoughts are clearer, without clouds
To blind me from what I'm about
I am a man now, youth long gone
Walk free from guilt and pain alone
My heart feels light, no more rage here
No pent up anger, no more tears
I'm free from bondage, free to be
The kind of man that I should please
To live as without mental chains
Free from a dark past, free from pain
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
To all the things I used to do
And now I've walked the path of fear
My greatest shame, been at despair
I'm colder, stronger than I knew
I had within me through and through
My thoughts are clearer, without clouds
To blind me from what I'm about
I am a man now, youth long gone
Walk free from guilt and pain alone
My heart feels light, no more rage here
No pent up anger, no more tears
I'm free from bondage, free to be
The kind of man that I should please
To live as without mental chains
Free from a dark past, free from pain
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Friday, 24 August 2012
Desire To Be Needed
It's scary to be separated from the outside world
To feel rejected, and like out of circles you've been hurled
To be misunderstood and not be taken how you meant
And then to look back at all of the wasted time you've spent
How can I take a journey alone in this heartless place
That's ridden with the evil thoughts and words of human race
How can one not contemplate exiting without a trace
Return to dust so as not to be such a waste of space
A need to feel wanted and loved, a thought I can't deny
Despite the coldness I portray, it shows within my eyes
A hope that one out of the lot will see beyond the flesh
And not to judge one on the past so one can start afresh
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
To feel rejected, and like out of circles you've been hurled
To be misunderstood and not be taken how you meant
And then to look back at all of the wasted time you've spent
How can I take a journey alone in this heartless place
That's ridden with the evil thoughts and words of human race
How can one not contemplate exiting without a trace
Return to dust so as not to be such a waste of space
A need to feel wanted and loved, a thought I can't deny
Despite the coldness I portray, it shows within my eyes
A hope that one out of the lot will see beyond the flesh
And not to judge one on the past so one can start afresh
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Still Holding On
Still hiding what I really feel
Still won't reveal what I've concealed
What has been buried deep inside
Still behind curtains, my soul hides
Still fearing what the world will say
Still broken that it's gone away
Still holding back the tears within
Still feel so lonely, holding in
The memories from where I'd been
The best I had, or'd ever seen
Still reflecting on the good times
Still feel emotions, now confined
In walls and barriers to protect
My heart from reject or neglect
Still deep inside false hope's aflame
That someday I'll be free from shame
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Still won't reveal what I've concealed
What has been buried deep inside
Still behind curtains, my soul hides
Still fearing what the world will say
Still broken that it's gone away
Still holding back the tears within
Still feel so lonely, holding in
The memories from where I'd been
The best I had, or'd ever seen
Still reflecting on the good times
Still feel emotions, now confined
In walls and barriers to protect
My heart from reject or neglect
Still deep inside false hope's aflame
That someday I'll be free from shame
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Unfinished Poem
Am I ready for relationships?
Take it further than just casually?
Am I fearful that step might be steep?
Do I really want to swim that deep?
Know that time is running out for me
Death is awaiting me patiently
Don't have difficulty meeting them
Just the whole process of filtering
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Take it further than just casually?
Am I fearful that step might be steep?
Do I really want to swim that deep?
Know that time is running out for me
Death is awaiting me patiently
Don't have difficulty meeting them
Just the whole process of filtering
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Live or Bereave
I can sit and just wallow in some self pity
I can shed tears that I've harboured welling up in me
Accumulation of the wrongdoings embodied
Sympathy and forgiveness, feel there's none for me
Deepest fears lie in a box I can't throw away
The memories seem more and more distant day by day
Sometimes I wish deep inside that she would have stayed
And somehow the demons would have gone away
It's been almost 5 years since I saw her face
And in that amount of time so much here has changed
I have watched my existence to her erase
And it won't mean a thing if I changed my ways
But I can't sit here in my cave watching the world go by
Without getting the experience to go and life my life
For if I stay hewre all I'll ever have to ask is why
The choice to live or stay bereaved is what I shall decide
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
I can shed tears that I've harboured welling up in me
Accumulation of the wrongdoings embodied
Sympathy and forgiveness, feel there's none for me
Deepest fears lie in a box I can't throw away
The memories seem more and more distant day by day
Sometimes I wish deep inside that she would have stayed
And somehow the demons would have gone away
It's been almost 5 years since I saw her face
And in that amount of time so much here has changed
I have watched my existence to her erase
And it won't mean a thing if I changed my ways
But I can't sit here in my cave watching the world go by
Without getting the experience to go and life my life
For if I stay hewre all I'll ever have to ask is why
The choice to live or stay bereaved is what I shall decide
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Discouraged
I walk and tread on through this life
Whilst peers get married, husbands, wives
I search for what I know not yet
Dragging behind me pain, regrets
The world seems surreal more each day
Far from the paths set, I have strayed
Retracting from a world I thought
I could venture to, now I'm lost
As I observe peers progress on
Downcast is my heart, all hope gone
For inner strength fails me again
Discouragement's all that remains
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
Whilst peers get married, husbands, wives
I search for what I know not yet
Dragging behind me pain, regrets
The world seems surreal more each day
Far from the paths set, I have strayed
Retracting from a world I thought
I could venture to, now I'm lost
As I observe peers progress on
Downcast is my heart, all hope gone
For inner strength fails me again
Discouragement's all that remains
Copyright © 2012 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)
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