Death Of Youth

I've laid to rest the son, the boy
For who is left is paranoid
Afraid of death, always aware
Through visions that the end is near

I look in the eyes of the son
That once was here and now is gone
Castle of pride, replaced with guilt
Overwhelmed, destroyed what was built

A shallow grave is what they say
But deep within the spirit lays
Beneath the chaos that resides
Inside a soul numb, without pride

The mask I wear is old and dead
But disillusioning instead
The clown that smiles, hides dark secrets
That drains one of peace that depletes

With every memory of what was
Reminded daily one's the cause
I encase the limp corpse of youth
behind a smile that traps the truth

Copyright © 2010 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

...........

Unmoved by life and love, unwanted stuff
The spirit numb, the time moves on
I live in a world born of fear
Wading through clouds, vapours of tears

The mist of pain a salty view
A place where no one can see through
Born anew are thoughts, visions
Confused daydreams, disillusions

I view the world but blind to all
Aware that into pits I fall
No care for what awaits beyond
Still fear grips the soul, moving on

The one they seek is gone and lost
Away for good's all cherished, tossed
Left within a western world, closed
A casket soul, left unopposed

Copyright © 2010 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

He That Is Here

You've tried more than enough for me, there's no point in wasting your breath
For he who you knew is no more, he's gone for good, so save the wreath
For he who is now here is nothing more than a take up of space
An occupant of an accumulation of pain, a disgrace

To what you'd consider a pride, a long line of hard-working folks
Who possess the mentality of certain destinies of work
He who is here is a prisoner of a troubled dark state of mind
Enclosed in a prison of guilt and shame, who's peace is hard to find

He who is here does not believe that existence is all he's worth
The self-esteem is non existent, aimless paths he treads on, forth
The son you had is lost to the world that you had warned him about
And what is left is lower than a beggar, worth less than a tout

So save your energy and breathe, for time is passing him on by
This waste of space and dust and air will lead to tears and make you cry
Carry on with the path you chose and maybe hope for the best, pray
That maybe he that is here now will hopefully find peace one day

Copyright © 2010 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

If I Had The Chance

If I had the chance to tell you, all the things I had to say
I'd call your name once, then I'd tell you just before you walked away
I'm sorry for the pain I caused, during the time I had with you
And all the times I caused you hurt, and for the physical pain too

I know that this might be the only chance I'd get to say these words
And that they tell me time has passed, that it is pointless and absurd
But this is how I really feel, not walls or front to hide the truth
One of the brightest times I had was with you in all of my youth

I've spent the last couple of years wallowed in guilt, pain and regret
I've punished myself, and accepted now my love you might reject
I've spent the time reflecting on the moments that I should have stopped
Taken a moment to control myself before feelings were hurt

I know they'll say to me that was just a time for lessons to learn
But deep inside the passion of my love for you still brightly burns
I am aware that you've moved on, and to me, seem happy with life
And I have searched far and wide for someone I'd hoped would be my wife

But all in vain, and not because they're not suitable for my taste
But the fact that I still love you puts all that effort into waste
So here I stand with you in my presence once again, vulnerable
I do not plead, I do not beg, or yearn for you to enable

Some form of compassion for me, but all I do is tell you what
Has been in my heart for these years, hidden, concealed and left to rot
I still love you, "_________ _______", that's all I can tell you right now
For what it's worth, if it's worth naught, then I am freed within somehow

Copyright © 2010 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

Letting Go

I fear the act of letting go
Of fears and guilt within my soul
I fear the fact that moving on
Will mean these memories will be gone

I hold on tight with all my might
To something I can not make right
But I can not ignore that voice
Telling me to make the right choice

Am I more of a man should I
Let future bad words pass me by?
Will I be fully healed, relaxed
Should I let go of such a past?

The crossroads find me here again
Contemplating paths in my brain
Let go of fear, I tell myself
Restore your heart to it's full health

Copyright © 2010 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)

Ready

With a direction and foresight, I can break free and now take flight
Arise from all my fears and plight, break free from chains with all my might

With focus i face things head on, assure myself to get things done
My spirit rigid and mind strong, my soul at peace, my heart is one

Short is the path I walk but still, I stay the course with a strong zeal
Mind in control, fight all I feel, until I've completed His Will

Copyright © 2009 Anthony Phillips (DUNTEE)